Recently we had a bit of drama in my guild. When I say 'a bit' I am understating, naturally. This was not just drama, it was the 'Dumb and Dumber' of the guild drama world. I was not present when it happened, but I am floored by what happened and just how stupid it all was.
I have debated several times writing about it here. Am I just starting my own brand of drama if I do? Who will I be hurting if I do? The bottom line is, I have got to talk about this or I may explode. The situation really is just 'that bad'.
We had a newer guild member (Let's call him Member #1) who was fairly young, in high school at least. He was a little hyper, a little silly. Listening to him on vent during PvP was a hoot. Now, our guild can get a little rowdy in chat. Things definitely are not PG-13. We try to recruit players over 18 but, as anybody who recruits knows, that's not always possible. We have no way to check ID. We can't ask for a driver's license or credit card to prove someone is over 18. Players fall through the cracks. This was one such player and, yes, I did recruit him in.
He had not been with us very long but had gone along on a few raids. In spite of how hyper or silly he tended to be, he knew enough to shut up on vent and listen to the raid leader. He did what he was told and he did it well enough to be asked back. As far as I could tell, he was contributing in a mostly positive manner to the guild. At least he was involved and active.
Enter Member #2. Member #2 is a long time and well liked member of the guild. We all pretty much adore her. However, lately she has been grumpy, snappish and looking for a fight. She recently returned to work. Her new work schedule does not allow her to be around and active the way she used to be. Unfortunately for her, this means she has to miss out on a lot. I imagine it is very frustrating for her to log in when we are in the middle of a raid. When she does, she does not tend to stick around long and I'm not entirely certain I blame her.
Just a few days ago, Member #2 logged in and asked what was going on. Member #1 said she was missing the party. She asked what party and he said "the party in my pants". Now, before I go any further, let me just say that much, much worse gets said in vent and in guild chat on a daily basis. What he said was really not a big deal in the scheme of things, as far as I am concerned. Had I been there, I would have laughed it off. Instead of laughing it off, Member #2 immediately rage quits and then regrets it. She finds the guild leaders wife who lets her back in the guild. The guild leader kicks Member #1 out of the guild and then a guild message is immediately posted not to let this member back in 'do to issues'. Yes, folks, they really spelled it that way.
I found out later Member #2 ragequit because she could not figure out how to kick the guy herself. She used to be an officer but was demoted at her own request because she was not going to be around as often due to her work schedule, so there was no way for her to kick him out of the guild on her own anyway. She also admitted that had the guild leader said that to her (and he's said similar things in the past, and things that really go beyond the bounds of good taste), it wouldn't have been as big of a deal. She would not have gotten angry.
Anybody else starting to smell the double standard here? Anybody else seeing the gross overreaction here? Yeah. Me too.
One of the other officers, let's call her Kat (yes that Kat, the other half of Gaming Worlds Collide) asked what happened and, apparently got a dissatisfactory response. So dissatisfactory, in fact, she refused to cut and paste what was said to me. Apparently, she knew I would not like it. I'm still not 100% certain what was said and am not certain I want to know.
What this has managed to do is make me question our leadership. It has also made me decide that I can not willingly and knowingly recruit new players into our guild without knowing the rules will be applied evenly across the board. How can I recruit new players when I don't even know what the rules are? This, you can imagine, is bad when you are the recruitment officer.
When our guild leader can log in two nights later and ask, in guild chat, if 'penis face' (aka the raid leader) had been around, when he can make off color jokes/remarks to Member #2 and have her laugh just a few days later, it really makes me question if I honestly want to be a part of this guild any longer. (Wow, that was one hell of a run-on sentence, wasn't it?) People reading this may wonder if I'm not a drama whore myself. This is honestly the first time I've felt compelled to write about my guild in such a way. I really don't make a habit of venting publicly about things that bother me, at least not so openly. I really do try to work things out before deciding a situation is hopeless, especially when I generally like most of the people involved. This time, I don't think it's going to work and it makes me feel an odd mixture of sadness and relief.
One of the other officers, let's call her Kat (yes that Kat, the other half of Gaming Worlds Collide) asked what happened and, apparently got a dissatisfactory response. So dissatisfactory, in fact, she refused to cut and paste what was said to me. Apparently, she knew I would not like it. I'm still not 100% certain what was said and am not certain I want to know.
What this has managed to do is make me question our leadership. It has also made me decide that I can not willingly and knowingly recruit new players into our guild without knowing the rules will be applied evenly across the board. How can I recruit new players when I don't even know what the rules are? This, you can imagine, is bad when you are the recruitment officer.
When our guild leader can log in two nights later and ask, in guild chat, if 'penis face' (aka the raid leader) had been around, when he can make off color jokes/remarks to Member #2 and have her laugh just a few days later, it really makes me question if I honestly want to be a part of this guild any longer. (Wow, that was one hell of a run-on sentence, wasn't it?) People reading this may wonder if I'm not a drama whore myself. This is honestly the first time I've felt compelled to write about my guild in such a way. I really don't make a habit of venting publicly about things that bother me, at least not so openly. I really do try to work things out before deciding a situation is hopeless, especially when I generally like most of the people involved. This time, I don't think it's going to work and it makes me feel an odd mixture of sadness and relief.
